Focus on the Reward

For those of you who read my blog you know I’ve prayed for a new, better paying job and got the job and I’m now in a world of self doubt. I’ll be 34 in 23 days and I live at home with my folks. I’ve never lived outside of my parents and I’m scared I’ll allow myself to become trapped in a job. I don’t want that anymore but I don’t want to be “lifer” on a job. At my 2nd job I worked there in the same place for over 10 years, from the ages 16 to 28. My third job was an internship and my 4th job I stayed in the same place I allow myself to get comfortable in an uncomfortable place. I think to myself “I want out of here but who’s gonna take me? I can’t do that job because it has a laundry list of skills I don’t have.” I’m my own worst enemy.

I have to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. God has something planned for me and I know I have to make the right decision. In about five months I plan on moving out and rooming with my best friend. I will overcome my “struggles”. I know most people that know me are like, “Oh you live with you folks. What problems could you have?” Well, it’s hard to date when you live with your folks but worse when you’re hitting mid-30s. I’m not a perfect Christian I don’t preach to people. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs by choice. I’m not mean to people who drink or do drugs. I just want be known for my writing and being a nice person who likes pop music and 90s alternative music. I know I’ve made my folks proud but I want to make myself proud. I haven’t done that yet but I will soon. I’m cutting back on my expenses  to save up money to move out in five months. I’m also going to look into taking online classes with public university in Florida to get in some PR classes. In one year I will be in a better place physically and emotionally.


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